Out of Battle
by AO4ever
Summary: Olivia left her daughter and wife once again to fight for her country. Nothing ever goes as planned with the United States Army. Established A/O, Rated T just to cover myself.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was originally going to be a one shot. My original plan wasn't well received and I value my life. So, the ending to this story will be in the second chapter once I am happy with it. Enjoy!**

Alex Benson-Cabot stared out of the window of the top floor of her brownstone. A year ago her wife Olivia left for what was supposed to be a six month long tour to Iraq. A tour which had turned into a year. Alex was waiting for her to hear the words 'I'm not coming' come from Olivia's lips once again. This time, things were different. It wasn't just Alex that Olivia was leaving behind. Her last tour was well over five years ago and in that time Alex had given birth to a little girl. Katherine Serena Benson-Cabot was a four year old spitting image of her mother. She picked up so many of her mama's mannerisms and especially her attitude. The little 3 and a half foot tall blonde was a firecracker that was for sure, to her mother's she would always be their Katie Bug. So many things she did, reminded Alex of her wife constantly. At the point, all she wanted was to hear Olivia's voice.

The time between their conversations were getting longer and longer. She was lucky to get a skype call once a month. Sometimes the skype calls were faster than the letters they would write back and forth. Alex treasured each and every one. The blonde woman brushed the few tears that fell as she thought about the day she dropped Olivia off for her deployment. This was to be her last, and the shortest. The army never did do things quite as planned.

" _I can't believe that you're really going back over there." Alex said sadly as she pulled into Fort Hamilton. She shook the whole way there._

" _This is the last time baby, I promise. Then when I get back home I will be discharged. As soon as this mission is over, I'll be back with you and Katie. No more leaving."Olivia gave Alex's hand a gentle yet firm squeeze._

 _Neither one were wanting to talk about the negative outcome that could very well happen. They made a promise to try and stay positive, even if it was constantly there in their minds._

 _Alex drew in a shaky breath before they exited the car. She wasn't ready to say goodbye again._

" _Hey, stop. Look at me." Olivia always could tell what was going through Alex's mind. She could read her like a book even if she was trying to mask it. "I'll be home before you know it. You and Katie are going to have me back soon."_

 _Wordlessly, Alex pulled Olivia to her and wrapped her arms tightly around her. The tears stung her eyes as they threatened to fall._

" _I love you."_

" _I love you too. I promise to come home safe."_

Alex shuddered at the thought of that day. Olivia should have been home by now. They should be together not half way across the world from each other. Looking up in the sky the blonde sighed. She missed her wife more than anything.

"Mommy!" Alex was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the door open and the sound of Katie running up the stairs. Following her in came Alex's good friend, Casey Novak.

"Hey bug!" The blonde quickly wiped away her tears and hugged the little girl tight. "Thanks for going to get her for me."

"Don't worry about it. We would have been here sooner, but little miss Katie left her doll in her cubby at school."

"Leaving mommy for the weekend?" Alex mused as she looked over at the younger blonde as she hugged the plush doll that Olivia got her before she left. It was a small doll that had an image of Olivia in uniform. That way Katie always had her near her.

"NEVER!" Katie's eyes went wide as she shook her head. "I didn't mean to leave mommy!"

"I know baby."

"I miss mommy." Katie looked at her doll sadly.

"I miss her too." Alex felt her heart drop to her stomach. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. She wasn't sure how was going to get through this on her own much longer.

"Have you heard from her lately?" Casey leaned up against the wall watching Alex.

"Not since last week. It was a five minute phone call. Things are supposed to be getting but over there! They are supposed to be withdrawing the troops not keeping them even longer, Case! I'm scared more and more every day. I got a letter from her this morning but haven't brought myself to read it. She sent one for Katie too; she'll be more than happy to have me read to her. I'm just struggling to hold on. She was only supposed to go for a short period of time and now it has doubled and I don't know what I am going to do if it triples." Alex talked in a hush tone but Casey could hear the pain in her voice.

"She'll come home to you. Just a couple more months, Al."

Alex just simply nodded and sighed.

"I'll call you tomorrow and check on you." The red head pulled Alex into a hug. Katie ran to her and wrapped her small arms around her.

"Katie bug mama sent you a letter." Alex smiled when the small child's eyes instantly lit up.

"Really!?" Katie jumped up excitedly. "Come on mama we got to read your letter!" The child grabbed her plushy and ran to her mother.

"Let's go get it. It's in the living room." The older woman couldn't even get her sentence out before she was being dragged by her daughter.

With a shaky breath Alex opened the envelope and scanned the letter.

"Hey Katie bug!

I miss you and your mommy so much. You're probably sitting there curled up with your mommy unable to contain your excitement. Bouncing around happier than ever. I know you and mommy don't like me being away for so long, and neither do I bug. I'll be home soon though! Then me, you, and your mommy can be together forever again. I promise not to leave again baby. I know sometimes you don't understand why I'm away and I wish I could explain it to you more. I hope you understand it when you eventually get a little bit older. I do what I do to make sure you and mommy are safe at home. So everyone can stay safe. But before you know it I'm gonna be home. Keep being good for mommy Katie. I'm sure she appreciates it. You're growing up so fast and I can't wait to hug you again. Give your mommy a kiss for me and sneak in a tickle too. I love you baby girl.

Mama"

Alex tried to keep her tears back but was struggling. Opening her eyes she was greeted by two other blue orbs. Katie wrapped her arms around her and smiled.

"It's okay mommy! Mama will be home soon! She said so! Then you won't have to be sad anymore."

"I know Katie bug." Alex gave the little girl a small smile.

"Mama told me to do this." Katie smiled as she kissed her mother and playfully tickled her.

"You're right, she did." Alex sat there laughing and picked up Katie and held her close. "I love you."

"Love you too mommy!" Katie jumped off her mother's lap and ran to her toys.

Alex folded the small letter and put in on the desk. She would read hers that night.

"God Liv, I need you home." Alex stood in their bedroom staring at the pictures that covered the white walls. Curling into a ball on Olivia's side of the bed, Alex brought the old gray t-shirt to her face and took in the lingering smell of Olivia. It was slowing starting to fade away, just as Alex's resolve to hold on.

Drying her tears, Alex got off the bed and went to check on her little girl who had fallen asleep a little before.

"You sleep just like your mama." Alex said aloud looking at their little girl in the dim light coming from the hall. She smiled through the tears once she saw Katie's mommy doll was now tucked securely in her little arms. She didn't know if she could hold on much longer.

As Alex made her way into the living room to get her letter she was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of her phone going off. Checking the time on the clock she furrowed her eyebrows. No one usually calls this late. Grabbing her phone she took a deep breath as she recognized the first three numbers.

"Liv?" Alex answered as fast as her fingers would let her.

"Baby." Olivia breathed out.

Just the single word that escaped Olivia's mouth made Alex's tears start flowing once again.

"I'm coming home."

"You're really coming home?"

"Yes Alex. I'm coming back to you and Katie. We're leaving the barracks at nightfall."

"I always thought the next call would be you saying you're staying again." Alex sobbed out.

"Shh baby. I'll be home in a few days. I better have my girls waiting for me."

"Always babe. How are you getting to call me?" Alex ran her hands through her hair.

"I had my last favor to use. I'll get another short phone call when I get back on home land. I love you Alex."

"I love you too." Alex was trying to hold a fresh wave of tears back.

"I have to go baby. Kiss Katie for me."

It felt like having to hang up was worse than waiting for any form of contact.

Nodding her head, even though Olivia couldn't see it Alex finally let the words slip out. "I know."

"I'll be home soon baby. I love you."

"And I'll see you then. Bye beautiful. I love you."

For the first time, Alex went to sleep with a smile on her face in a while. Her wife was really coming home.

* * *

Alex walked out of her office to find her coworkers crowded around a television in the conference room. Walking her face paled and she saw the headline. There was a convoy attacked and multiple IED's were set off. There weren't expected to be any survivors.

"No. no no no!" Alex felt all of breath leave her and she stood still staring ahead of her.

"Alex." The blonde was pulled from her trance by Liz Donnely. "Come on, Alex." The older woman lead her into her office and closed the door.

"You don't know it's her Alex."

"But I do. I have the gut feeling. They were leaving today. That was her company!" Alex was shaking as her sobs washed over her. She couldn't believe it. She was so close to having Olivia back and she was ripped away just like that.

You don't know for sure Alex. You can't give up hope just like that."

Alex sat in her living room that night after Liz got her home. Katie went to stay with Casey for the night. Jumping slightly, Alex heard a knock at the door.

Swallowing hard she opened it to reveal a uniformed military officer. She knew instantly what he was going to say.

"Alexandra Benson- Cabot?"

Alex just nodded staring at the man.

"I'm Lieutenant Matthew Sander ma'am. Normally we would just notify you via a telephone call, but this instance is a little different. May I come in?"

Alex realized she hadn't stepped aside to allow him to enter. She had yet to even utter a word.

"She's gone isn't she?" She could barely get the words out.

"Ma'am your wife was one of two that survived a multiple IED ambush earlier today in Iraq."

Alex let out a breath and sobbed into her hands as she heard the words that came out of the stranger's mouth.

"Sh- she's alive?"

"Yes ma'am. She is being transported to a military hospital in Germany as soon as she is stable. I don't know the extent of her injuries. You and your daughter are being granted clearance to go to her."

"We get to see her?"

"Yes ma'am. No one knows exactly how long she will be there. I advise you to make some plans early in the morning. I will be in contact with you tomorrow before noon."

Alex couldn't wrap her head around what was going on. She had gone from thinking her wife was dead to knowing she was barely hanging on to her life.

Glancing at the clock she didn't care of the time. She grabbed her phone and made plans. She was going to her wife.

* * *

"Mommy needs to talk to you Katie Bug." Alex kneeled down in front of her daughter as she walking into Casey's apartment.

"We're gonna go away for a little bit okay? We're gonna go see mama but mama is really sick. So when we eventually get there you're going to have to be really good, okay?"

"Okay mommy. Is mama going to be okay?" The pain and multiple questions showed in her daughter's eyes.

Alex closed her eyes and sighed. "Your mama is so strong and brave Katie. She'll come back home with us. Now go grab your bag so I can talk to Aunt Casey really quick."

After the little girl ran out of ear shot, Alex looked up at the red head. "What if I just lied to our daughter?"

"You just said it yourself. She's Strong Alex. There is no way she's not going to be back here causing hell again."

All Alex could do was nod her head. "I can't lose you now Olivia." She looked upward and felt her eyes swell once again.

"You left me for a year, you can't leave me forever. It's not just me anymore!" Alex let out what little bit of anger she had in her come out.

"She's not leaving Alex. The road to recovery could be long and hard but you know as well as I do, she will fight. You just have to be there for her. You're allowed to break. You're allowed to be frustrated but just remember everything you are felling, it's double for her. You both will have people here when you get back. Neither of you are alone and you can get through this." Casey put her hands on Alex's shoulders as she spoke.

"Thank you." Alex barely whispered as she saw Katie slowly walk into the room. Drying her tears quickly she smiled at the little girl.

"Come on Katie Bug. We need to get back to the house. Lieutenant Sander is picking us up and taking us to the airport."

 **A/N: I would have had you guys out for my blood if I finished it when I wanted. And many of you probably already are seeing as how Stay With Me hasn't been updated in months... I have no excuses except my lack of motivation and writers block. I'm sorry.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on Katie. You have to wake up." Alex gently rubbed her daughter's back. They had just landed in Germany. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute.

"Mrs. Benson-Cabot, we are heading to the hotel from the airport. We can set up child care while we go to the hospital. Myself and another serviceman will escort you both in a few hours." Lieutenant Sander followed the two blondes off the plane. Alex was struggling, she had a barely awake child in her arms and their carryon bags. All while trying to make their way through the airport to get their luggage.

Alex's exterior was seemingly calm. She looked like the same fierce attorney everyone saw on a daily basis in the court room. Internally she was crumbling. She didn't know what she was walking in to. What was going to be left of her wife?

Bags after bags passed in front of the trio until they finally saw their respective belongings. Barely any words were spoken between the two adults. They both knew of the grave situation they were coming in to.

Alex sighed as she finally made her way into their hotel room. She laid Katie on the bed and ran her hand through her hair.

It was nearly 7:00 am when she glanced at the clock. Katie had only been sleeping for roughly four hours at that point. She knew she couldn't let her sleep too much longer or she wouldn't fall asleep at all later that day. She was going to be cranky, but Alex knew when to pick which battle she was going to fight.

"Mommy?" A sleepy Katie sat up and looked around the room.

"Hey Katie Bug." Alex sat down next to her daughter and smiled.

"When are we gonna see mama?" The little girl snuggled into the older woman and clung to her legs.

"Baby, mommy is going to see her a little later. I'll let you come see her this evening after dinner, okay?"

Alex played with Katie's hair as she nodded her head. She didn't even know the condition Olivia was in.

Everything ran together from late morning to early afternoon. Alex had met with other military personnel and those who would be looking after Katie. Thankfully she had warmed up to them quickly. Along with Lieutenant Sander, there was also Sergeant Taylor Johnson. He was serving as a translator when needed.

"Mrs. Benson-Cabot, we are heading out." Lieutenant Sander let her know as he walked out of an office.

"I'll be back later okay Katie Bug?" Alex kissed her head and gave her a small smile. Upon receiving a smile and a hug from the little girl she headed off with the two gentlemen.

The ride to the hospital was completely silent. Alex was once again left to deal with her thoughts and try to keep her emotions in order. Words weren't spoken until the two men led Alex through a multitude of hallways until they reached the fourth floor. Taking a deep breath, Alex slowly exhaled.

"She's in room 452."

"Thank you." Alex paused before she opened the door. She was completely terrified to see sight that awaited her.

Alex closed the door to the small room and pressed her back to it as she took in the sight of her wife. Seemingly her whole body was bandaged in some form. Olivia's brown hair was spread against the crisp white pillow. It had gotten so much longer than she had last seen it. Olivia had it tucked away in a tight bun at the base of her neck each and every time she's seen her since she left. Both arms and chest were covered in white bandages. Some spots showed a pink tint where the bleeding was heaviest. Scanning Olivia's body she looked and saw her legs under the blanket that was lying across the soldier. All four appendages were seemingly intact but Alex knew in her heart things couldn't be as good as they seemed right now.

Slowing the blonde woman made her way to Olivia's bed side. For the first time since she left the states, Alex felt the sting of fears hit behind her eyes.

"No matter the extent, Liv we'll get through it." Alex whispered to virtually no one. Olivia was unconscious in a medically induced sleep.

"Mrs. Benson-Cabot?" Alex jumped at the opening of the door and a female voice with a think German accent. Judging by the lab coat and clip board Alex presumed she was Olivia's physician.

"Yes?"

"I'm doctor Natalie Ramirez Mrs. Benson-Cabot. I've treated Captain Benson-Cabot since she arrived yesterday."

"Please, call me Alex. I'm sure we will be seeing a lot of each other."

"Will do, Alex."

"What are her injuries?" Alex finally had the nerve to ask the question that she wasn't sure she really wanted the answer to.

"From the force of the IED, Captain Benson-Cabot was thrown from the humvee. How there isn't any major damage to her head, I haven't a clue. As for her other body parts, there has been severe muscle damage to your wife's left leg from the shrapnel. She has burns on both arms and back. To be honest, I'm not sure how she is in the shape she is. She truly is lucky to be breathing."

"Will she ever fully recover?"

"Even with extensive physical therapy, there might be a slight chance. But to be able to honestly answer that question she has to come to and start to heal. She should be awake in the coming days. We just have to take it one day at a time. Things didn't look good when she was brought in, but she pulled through. Something is definitely keeping her here ma'am."

Alex let out the breath she failed to realize she was holding until she felt the tears stream down her face once again.

"She's one hell of a soldier Mrs. Benson-Cabot. I will see you when I do my next rounds."

Alex watched the doctor leave the room and returned her attention back to her wife. Getting up, Alex tentatively touched Olivia's hair smoothing it out. Laying a gentle kiss on her head before returning to her seat.

Days came and went with Alex by Olivia's side. Slowly Olivia was in and out of it. She had been in the hospital for a week before she was awake for no more than just a couple minutes at a time. Mostly exchanging looks with her wife and looking around. Olivia was still quite weak and the best way for her to heal was rest. Alex spent her days in the small hospital room with Katie on her lap more than not. Once she saw her mother, Katie insisted she come back to be with her mama too. Some days Katie was more restless than others, but for the most part the young child spent her time coloring. Or the few moments she spent telling an unconscious Olivia of everything she has done in the last year.

Katherine Serena Benson-Cabot! I told you before you do not play around like that near your mama." Alex shot a look at her daughter. It was one of those days for Katie. She refused to let Alex take her away from Olivia but was completely restless. One of the nurses and brought in a few toys that kept her occupied for a while but she has once again grown bored.

"Katie, listen to your mommy." Olivia croaked out. It was the first time words fell from her lips since she starting coming in and out of consciousness.

Alex's eyes flew to meet the brown orbs.

"Liv." Alex slowly made her way to her wife and softly cupped her cheek.

"Mama!?" A very hyper Katie came right next to her parent's sides.

"Katie Bug." Olivia's voice was a little bit steadier this time.

"I have to let the nurse know you're alert, Liv." Alex pressed a kiss to Olivia's forehead and smiled at her wife.

"Make sure your mama is okay while I'm gone, okay?"

Katie smiled and nodded as her other mother walked from the room.

"I missed you mama." The little girl's voice was filled with such emotion.

"I've missed you too baby girl. You and your mommy." Olivia looked up from the small blonde as Alex made her way back into the room.

"Hey Katie, want to go get some ice cream with me?" A nurse that followed Alex in bent down to the child's level.

"What about mama?" Katie looked at the three women.

"Mommy promises she will still be here when you get back. But mama and I need to talk to the doctors."

"Promise mama?" Katie walked to Olivia's side and stared at her.

"Promise." Olivia's raspy voice was heard once again.

"Can we get her some ice chips?" Alex smoothed out Olivia's hard softly.

"I'll have to ask Doctor Ramirez. She'll be in shortly. Come on Katie, we better go before they run out of chocolate."

"Be good Katie Bug. We'll see you when you come back up. And thank you."

The nurse nodded her head and smiled before leading the youngest one from the room.

"This doesn't feel real." Alex whispered, locking her eyes with Olivia's. She could tell she was forcing herself to stay awake.

"I heard a certain soldier decided to fully wake up." Alex and Olivia both jumped as the doctor entered the room carrying a small cup.

"How long have I been out?" Olivia glanced at Doctor Ramirez.

"Roughly a week and a half, Olivia. Do you remember what put you here?"

Olivia closed her eyes as the events passed through her mind. It felt as if she was right back in the desert.

"We were on our way out of Samarra; I remember hearing the sound of the explosion. The feeling of immense heat and then a sharp pain all over. That's all." Olivia still had her eyes closed. More and more events flashed in her mind from this last tour.

"You've made it out of battle, Liv." Alex said softly, once again running her fingers through Olivia's brown locks.

"But what exactly did it cost me?" This question was more towards Doctor Ramirez.

"We'll have to figure that out day by day, Olivia. Right now, until some of the external wounds heal we don't know. To be honest with you, I'm not going to tell you that you won't be one hundred percent again; I just don't see it happening. Especially right away."

Alex's blue eyes met brown and was met with raw emotion.

"No matter what, I'll be right there next to you."

"What if I can never walk again?"

"You'll walk Olivia. It may be with the assistance of a cane, but you'll be upright." The two women nearly forgot the doctor's presence until she spoke. "You also need to rest. Someone will be in to change your dressings later this evening. If things continue to progress you should be able to be sent back to the states in no time."

"Thank you doctor." Alex gave her a head nod and smiled.

"Mommy! Mama!" Katie's voice rang out as the little girl opened the door.

"Come here baby." Alex perched on the side of Olivia's bed and picked up their little girl. "Mama needs to rest so we're going to have to have some coloring time, okay? After they change her bandages we are going to head back to the hotel."

"But I don't want to leave mama." Katie looked at Olivia who was slowly falling back asleep.

"She will be here when we get back in the morning. Mommy doesn't want to leave her either but Katie Bug she needs to rest so we can get her home."

"Okay Mommy." Katie sighed and looked down at the ground.

"Give mama kisses and then you can go get your coloring pages."

Katie hovered over Olivia in her mother's arms. She smiled down at her and kissed her. Olivia's eyes fluttered open and smiled sleepily.

"Sleep beautiful." Alex cupped Olivia's cheek.

 **A/N: I know I said this was going to be a two shot… BUT I figured those who have followed this adventure deserve something from me. This honestly should have been up in full days ago. As soon as this is posted I will be writing the third and final chapter of this literary work. I may leave it open so I can return to writing if the time shows itself. Whether that means I add future chapters or maybe one shots. Those would show what trials and tribulations this family faces as Olivia tries to return to civilian life. PTSD and depression are common amongst those that come back from a war. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'm going to stop rambling now.**


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